Just keep smiling..

Hey guys, I just thought I'd write this post because in the past few days things haven't gone quit to plan. I'm getting very stressed out and frustrated about it all and I can't help but let it get me down and it's hard to just stay positive the whole time. So, it's all pretty much about what is going to happen next year, about my new place. I have been having problems with the estate agent about the place we have reserved, and it could end up with us not even being able to have it. And it is so frustrating as we had planned every single little detail, we bought a ton of things to put in there, luckily we haven't finished ordering the furniture. We had planned and dreamt of how we wanted it to be, how we wanted it to look like inside.. and maybe it will never happen, all we can do is keep our hopes up that everything works out in the end and we are still able to move in there. We fell in love with this place as soon as we saw photos of it online, and we wanted to visit it straight away. It was the first and only place we visited, we didn't want anywhere else, we wanted this one. It's the perfect size for the both of us, all done up lovely, it the best and quietest area of the town, it's just lovely. We have just got to keep our fingers crossed that everything works out in the end. Also, there is the stress of trying to find a job for next year and the stress of going to Uni. I need to find a job as I need the extra money, and also I will need to occupy myself as I don't want to stay at home all day doing nothing. It's because I only have to retake a few lessons next year so I will have quit a lot of spare time. Finding a job is so hard and as I have never had any work experience really and being rejected by people/companies is so hurtful sometimes, it makes you feel like you are never going to be accepted anywhere and makes you want to give up. But then I was having a little think earlier and realised, it shouldn't get me down, I shouldn't get so stressed over it, because it just makes everything worse, it doesn't get anything sorted out.. You should just be brave and smile, don't let everything get to you. Just keep smiling, because no matter what, everything will be ok in the end.. ♥

Photography.

One day I imagined myself doing all these crazy photoshoots, travelling around the world taking amazing photos of the beautiful scenery I find in these different countries, different towns and villages. I imagined myself taking photos of beautiful and amazing creatures and wildlife.. Capturing that little second of something that can't be captured again. I thought that I would be doing something that makes me happy, doing something I am passionate about, but that stopped as soon as these words came out of someones mouth 'you will never be accepted into a photography school'. Yep, as soon as I heard those words, I didn't even try to go to that school, everything just stopped. Was it stupid of me? Yes probably, but sometimes, when someone puts you down like that, you just don't wanna get back up. Yes it was only some guy who worked at my old school who we had to go see to choose what school we wanted to go to when we had finished, but I thought he knew what he was on about, I was only 15 at the time and I just wasn't thinking straight. But maybe not trying was a good thing, because my life is great at the moment, living with my boyfriend, studying at Uni, doing what I want when I want.. But still, Uni, I am not enjoying it, not a single bit. And maybe I would have enjoyed photography school more. I don't know. Yes ok, maybe you think that I am just one of those 'want to be's' who buy an expensive camera and take photos of whatever and think they are a photographer. No, I am not one of those, I was really passionate about it and it made me happy when I took photos, and having a job that makes me happy, well nothing is better than that. I mean, a lot of people get stuck in a job that they hate but end up doing it for the rest of their life pretty much, and I don't want to be one of those people.. I have so many crazy ideas for photoshoots and all these little things that I wish to take photos of someday, somewhere, but that will never happen. I used to do little photoshoots with my friends (which I post down below) and go outside, exploring, taking photos of pretty little things I could find. I used to spend ages, touching up the photos and it was so fun. All my family put money towards buying me a camera for Christmas, and it wasn't even an expensive Nikon or Canon or whatever.. and I loved it. I used to use it for hours.. Until that day that ruined my dreams. After that I kind of used my camera less and less.. thinking what is the point in me using it if it isn't going to get me anywhere? Why am I taking photos? No one is going to see them except for me. In the end I sold my camera and just bought a little one that I could just take with me on holidays or whatever to take a few holiday snaps. You know, I remember when I first got into it all, I was round my parents friends, and they had this beautiful flower in their garden. At the time I just had my camera phone, but I couldn't help but take a picture of it and then I don't know, just after that I fiddled around with bits, took a few more photos and there, I just fell in love with the idea of taking photos, capturing special moments.. So yeah, I haven't taken a proper photo in like 3-4 years.. and I am pretty upset.. But I am trying to get back into it and save up for a new camera, cos yeah, even if it doesn't get me anywhere and no one can see it and enjoy it, I can. And that's all that matters. If it's something that I enjoy doing then I shouldn't let anything get in the way of it. Always do what makes you happy. ♥